


lay down your armor

by beanpod



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Failed road trips really, First Kiss, M/M, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 02:50:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13649886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beanpod/pseuds/beanpod
Summary: Hoseok says, "Let's go on a road trip, right now, me and you," fingers absently playing with the corner of the blanket, eyes downcast and chin buried in a pillow, and Hyunwoo looks at his alarm clock, 3:05AM blinking in red bright lights back at him and says, "Sure, why the hell not."





	lay down your armor

**Author's Note:**

> i was feeling very soft. also [this fucking song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QImH6snSN-g).

Hoseok says, "Let's go on a road trip, right now, me and you," fingers absently playing with the corner of the blanket, eyes downcast and chin buried in a pillow, and Hyunwoo looks at his alarm clock, 3:05AM blinking in red bright lights back at him and says, "Sure, why the hell not."

Curling fingers over the blanket, Hoseok looks up at him from where he's sprawled at the end of Hyunwoo's bed in his own cocoon of blankets. The bed is too small for the both of them, but they've made it work so far.

Hoseok raises an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

Hyunwoo shrugs. "Yeah. What could possibly go wrong?" It's minus-five degrees out but Hyunwoo doesn't really care. If Hoseok wants to go on a road trip, Hyunwoo's game.

(It's probably more than that but Hyunwoo isn't willing to go there—especially when it's this late. Or early. Whatever. The thing is, though, if Hoseok says _let's go_ , Hyunwoo's most likely answer will be _where to._

Hyunwoo doesn't like to think about it too much; it upsets him, not knowing where they stand, what they _are_.)

"We could get in trouble," Hoseok says, but his eyes are sparkling with interest—he likes the danger, he doesn't have to lie and Hyunwoo certainly doesn't need him to.

"We could, yeah." Hyunwoo shakes a leg from under his comforter—it's kind of hard to do because Hoseok's weight is keeping everything from moving—and pokes Hoseok's side with his toe. "Come on, live while you're young, man, live on the edge, aren't you the one who's always looking to live dangerously?"

Hoseok snorts, but he's grinning. "Shut up."

Hyunwoo rolls his eyes and goes back to clicking away on his laptop, checks Twitter and then switches tabs to the news article he was reading before Hoseok crawled out of his bunk and into Hyunwoo's with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and his "I'm bored, let's hang out, please" face on. They're in comfortable silence for a while, for long enough that when Hoseok speaks up again, quiet and slow, voice rather scratchy, Hyunwoo feels his heart do a little flip in surprise, startled.

At least that's what he tells himself.

"Alright," he's saying, "Alright, let's do it, let's live dangerously. For tonight, at least."

"Great," Hyunwoo says, and shuts his laptop closed, perhaps a bit too quickly, shoves it across the bed while sitting up, perhaps a bit too eagerly. "I'll drive."

 

 

 

No one asks where they're going as they get ready and slip on their shoes, grabbing their coats and wallets and the manager's car keys from the little counter by the door. Everyone's out for the count, tired and spent from all the flights, all the concerts. (Hyunwoo's sure there was a slumped form on the couch that was probably Hyungwon but they were too in a hurry to be quiet and sneak out like to stop and check. It probably was, though; he declared Hoseok's pouting was too loud earlier and left his bunk in a blur of colorful swearing and sleepiness.)

Hyunwoo admits a part of him is tired enough to tell Hoseok to forget it, to head back inside and maybe have a cup of tea before huddling for warmth in front of the TV (after they've managed to put whoever's there to their rightful bed) until it's time to get up again and, unironically, face the music.

Another part—a bigger one, doesn't precisely like to be told what to do—purses its lips and says, "If not now, then when?"

Hyunwoo can't help but think they're talking about different things.

They stumble out onto the pavement while rubbing their gloved hands for warmth, and as they reach the car ( _their manager's car_ , which he's going to bitch about much later), Hoseok turns around, the tip of his nose already going pink from the cold. "Where are we going?" he asks.

"No idea," Hyunwoo says, unlocking the car and shoving himself into the driver's seat. Hoseok climbs in shortly after, reaching for the A/C immediately. "Where do you wanna go? It's your road trip after all."

It takes all of five minutes for the car to warm up to their liking ("Okay, now it's too hot, fuck, wait, hold on, my brain is melting,") and once it's nice and cozy, Hoseok looks out the window, his gaze following the little snowflakes that crash on the windshield and stick to it.

It's an eerily pretty image and Hyunwoo's breath catches momentarily at the back of his throat. He rubs the tip of his nose, looks away when Hoseok hums absently, still watching the snow falling outside.

"How about the beach?" he asks after a while. 

Hyunwoo turns on the seat to fix him with a careful look. Hyunwoo might have said 'let's live dangerously' but he's not suicidal. He likes his balls where they are and he's pretty sure if they so much as go near the coast, he's going to freeze them off. Besides, it's going to take them around two hours to get there.

"The beach," he intones carefully, in case Hoseok's not sure of what he's just proposed. "In the middle of winter."

"Hey," Hoseok pouts, "you said I could pick. And what happened to "let's live on edge" and all that crap you were talking about before?"

Hyunwoo sighs. "If we die of frostbite it'll be your fault."

Hoseok rolls his eyes and looks out the window while Hyunwoo puts the car in gear and drives out of their spot and towards the free-way, nose buried deep into his blue scarf. He's wearing the most unassuming jacket, and it's got to be at least two sizes bigger. Hyunwoo doesn't tease him for it because his own is a size bigger as well. Bigger jackets mean he can wear as many sweaters as possible underneath; it's basically win-win for everyone invested in their health, really.

They've been on the 45 for twenty silent minutes (neither of them is willing to mess around with their manager's preferred station) when Hoseok turns to look at him, nudging Hyunwoo's elbow with his own over the center console. "Thanks," he says, and through the corner of his eye, Hyunwoo catches Hoseok's small smile, "For this, I mean."

Hyunwoo nods, grip tightening on the steering wheel. "Sure, man, no problem."

 _We do stupid shit for love_ , his brain supplies, and has to bite hard on the inside of his cheek just to make the thought go away.

 

 

 

Daechon looks a lot like a scene from _Frozen_ when they park the car near the pier. The sea looks dark blue and the sky is at that stage where it's not really dark but it's not light either, a mix of purple and white and grey and the tiniest hint of yellow.

It's barely 5:30, Hyunwoo notices as they kill the engine but keep the heat on.

"It looks so…" Hoseok starts, squinting at the blanket of blue in the distance. "Cold."

"No shit, Sherlock," Hyunwoo mutters, and chuckles when Hoseok makes a face and nudges him.

"Wanna take a walk?" he asks.

"I didn't drive all the way here to stay in the car. If we go down, we go down fighting." Hyunwoo juts his chin up and pushes the door open, stepping out and immediately cursing Hoseok's entire being because it's fucking cold and, seriously, Hyunwoo should grow a back-bone, start saying no to Hoseok for a change.

The air smells salty and a bit dull. There's a bit of a breeze and it stings like a motherfucker, on Hyunwoo's cheeks, the tip of his nose, his temples. He's going to catch a cold, he _knows_ he will.

They walk carefully down the pier, cold sand cracking under their feet, and after ten steps, Hoseok slides closer, their arms bumping together as they make their way down towards the sand.

"I've never seen the sea during winter," Hoseok mutters after a while of silent walking, and then they stand in front of the water, watching the sky and the splash of the waves against the sand. "I mean, that time we went for work doesn't really count, does it? Wasn't even winter, proper."

"Do you like it?" Hyunwoo asks.

Hoseok nods. "Yeah. Yeah, I do. What's not to like, though, right? We could shoot a music video here, look at this. Something really sad, _extremely_ sad." He spreads his arms around him, twirls in a circle with his face tilted to the sky, and it's ironic, how happy he looks in a rather sad-looking setting.

It's pretty, it is, the sea around them, the chill, the colors, everything soft and kind of muted. Hyunwoo tries to picture whatever Hoseok's painting himself and fails a little, because it's not really his kind of scene and he doesn't really have Hoseok's eye for this kind of thing, either.

"I guess so," Hyunwoo nods back. "We could ask management, you know, see if there are any sad songs available around for us."

"I've written a few," Hoseok says, a few steps ahead of him, his feet leaving deep dents on the sand. "I mean, they're not, like, sad—or good, for that matter, but I could visualize the concept here."

"I'm sure they're good," Hyunwoo says, on principle. When Hoseok throws a rueful smile at him over his shoulder, Hyunwoo huffs a laugh, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets, where they're nowhere near warm enough. "I've heard your stuff, you don't have to pretend I haven't. It's _good_. I'm fairly certain if you tell the execs you want them produced they'd agree."

"You're an optimist," Hoseok breathes.

Hyunwoo rolls his eyes. "I'm stating facts." At Hoseok's unconcealed unease, he adds, "It was just a thought, though."

Hoseok has nothing to say to that—or maybe he does, but is more preoccupied gazing at the horizon while still walking ahead, which means Hyunwoo can't really see his expression. They walk quietly for another few minutes when Hoseok says, "Do you think our asses will freeze if we sit down?"

"'Live dangerously', right?" Hyunwoo recites, and Hoseok laughs, a puff of breath that Hyunwoo watches disappear right in front of his very eyes.

"Yeah," he breathes, still laughing a little, and he holds Hyunwoo's gaze for a beautifully painful second, "so you keep reminding me."

It makes Hyunwoo's throat close up a little, and he bites the inside of his cheek again _, get it together, for fuck's sake_ , as he takes the few steps between them to join Hoseok on the sand.

 

 

 

They go back to the car after agreeing freezing their butts off wouldn't be as cool as it sounds. Hoseok says, "Should've worn snow pants. Those insulating ones that Changkyun likes to wear when he goes grocery shopping." He thrusts a hand towards Hyunwoo and helps him up. His gloved hand isn't warm but Hyunwoo still feels the burn in his fingertips when gets to his feet and lets go.

It's getting slightly brighter by the minute, and as they make it back to the car, there's more yellow in the sky than Hyunwoo's seen in a week, probably, but that's more on the fact they leave way before sunrise and get back home when it's still dark outside. He unlocks the car and is about to get in when he spots Hoseok leaning against the front bumper, arms crossed around his chest as he looks at the horizon.

Hyunwoo falters with his hand on the handle, doesn't know if he should join Hoseok, or if he even wants the company. He's been quiet for the past five minutes it took them to walk back to the car, and even though Hyunwoo likes to tell himself he knows Hoseok (all of them, really) like the back of his hand, he still stumbles a little whenever Hoseok gets quiet like this. It's not a rare occurrence, but when it happens Hyunwoo feels… hopeless.

It's a recurrent feeling around Hoseok, he notices.

He just stands there, boots scuffing on wet, gritty gravel. He leans against the door, looking around; the bit of road visible from here is starting to fill with slow traffic, and workers from the docks are starting to trickle in.

"We should head back," Hoseok says, startling the quiet around them. He's made his way to the other side, and he's lingering at the door, like suddenly he's the one waiting on Hyunwoo. His smile is rather rueful when he directs it at the road. "Kihyun's probably up and about to call the cops 'cause we've gone missing in the middle of the night."

Hyunwoo nods, quiet, and gets in after Hoseok throws one last hopeful look at the sky.

 

 

 

It's less quiet, in the car. Hoseok stares at the window and comments on the scenery from time to time, knocks their elbows together over the center console when he wants Hyunwoo to actually look at what he's pointing out. He's in a better mood, chuckling and making jokes and poking Hyunwoo in the ribs when Hyunwoo says, "No, I can't see, I have to keep my eyes on the road, Hoseok."

"You're too good for your own good," Hoseok murmurs.

"That makes no sense," Hyunwoo retorts.

"Of course it does, you know what I meant, anyway," Hoseok groans. He pokes Hyunwoo again, harder this time, making him flinch, but doesn't say anything else, and Hyunwoo doesn't, either.

Traffic isn't a drag but it's definitely heavier than it was on their way out, and Hyunwoo's studiously keeping an eye on a traffic light when Hoseok clears his throat a little and says, "Hey, do you wanna get breakfast?"

Hyunwoo hums, shrugging. "I think there's a McDonald's somewhere around here."

"Great," Hoseok nods, and their elbows knock briefly. "I'm buying, yeah? As thanks for this," he waves a hand around vaguely, "driving us out there and all. You can pick whatever you want, I won't tell anyone."

Hyunwoo smiles a little and nods back. "We should probably get something for the guys, too."

"Like a peace offering for leaving them in the dead of night?" Even if Hyunwoo can't properly look at him, he can still hear the smile in Hoseok's tone.

"Yes, something like that." They chuckle—it's a bit stilted, kind of awkward, and the car is warm enough that Hyunwoo feels a little clammy, hands sweating around the steering wheel.

Hoseok leans in close when they're at the drive-thru. He unbuckles his belt and nearly crawls into Hyunwoo's lap in order to peek at the menu and place his order. He smells salty, like the sea breeze has tucked itself into the creases of his padded jacket, the backs of his ears, but he also smells like himself, like the cologne his mom got him for his birthday, and soap. Hyunwoo holds his breath for the whole forty-five seconds it takes Hoseok to decide he'll have two sausage burritos and a large regular Coke ("I'm feeling adventurous today,") and when he falls back into his seat, it's like his lungs are about to burn their way through his ribs.  

Hyunwoo orders coffee and a muffin, burns his tongue with both. Hoseok laughs at him warmly, almost choking on his first burrito, cheeks pink and eyes watery, and Hyunwoo _feels so much_ for him, doesn't know where to start, _how_ to start, how to express what Hoseok _means_ to him in a way that makes sense.

He wants to reach out and run his thumb over the top of his cheek, the jut of his jaw, and his hands shake a little around his Styrofoam cup, and all the while Hoseok tells him a story about Hyungwon and a pineapple in between chews of his food and hearty chuckles. It's the most _Hoseok_ he's been since he crawled into Hyunwoo's bunk. It's comforting, barely, because Hyunwoo's brain is a muddled mix of things that are threatening to choke him and Hoseok, in all his breath-taking glory, under the morning sky and the backdrop of the ocean, dark and impossible.

Hyunwoo licks his lips, swallowing around words he can't quite bring himself to say, laughs where he's expected.

Hoseok's story runs its course and then he's looking at Hyunwoo curiously. "Is everything okay?"

Hyunwoo nods, "Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"You've gone all quiet all of a sudden," Hoseok says. He's got the crumpled remains of his burritos on his lap.

"I'm always quiet, though," Hyunwoo points out.

Hoseok tilts his head to the side, both brows furrowed. "Not with me."

Hyunwoo huffs a laugh, or like, half of it, at most. He shrugs, looking out the window at the empty parking lot. "I'm fine."

"Okay," Hoseok says, softly, barely above a whisper. The cracking of his food wrapper is much louder. "Look, I wanted to thank you, for this, even though I made you drive all the way down there for nothing—"

"You didn’t make me do anything," Hyunwoo cuts in, looking at Hoseok now, because Hoseok sounds really small and sorry and Hyunwoo doesn't want him to sound like that, ever. Hoseok's mouth closes with a loud click from his teeth, and Hyunwoo adds, "We drove down there because we wanted to. We are on a road trip with the manager's car and drove down to the beach in the middle of the night because we both felt like it. And we had fun. We _are_ having fun."

Hoseok's silent for a second, two seconds, and then he says, rather ruefully, "It was a shitty road trip, though, wasn't it? Didn't even listen to appropriate music. And, like, is it a road trip if it only took us six hours to get there and back?"

"Of course it is, it definitely counts," Hyunwoo says, smiling back. He waves his empty wrapper and nods at Hoseok's. "We've got the junk food to prove it. The bad coffee, too." He grumbles the last part.

Hoseok's laugh is soft, and when he quiets, he looks at Hyunwoo curiously again, like he's trying to figure something out, and it makes Hyunwoo squirm a little under his jacket.

"You know I like you, right?" he asks. His tone is flat, though, like he's commenting on how chilly the weather is outside the car, like Hyunwoo should know this (he does) and it's giving him a headache having to ask, like he hasn't just made Hyunwoo's heart flip a little in his chest.

"You do?" is what comes out of his mouth. He hates how uncertain he sounds, but mostly he hates how pained Hoseok looks right after.

"Of course I do, you're my best friend, you're…" he doesn't finish that last part, he just sighs, shaking his head, and Hyunwoo feels rather lost. Hoseok reaches over the console and links his fingers with Hyunwoo's; they're warm and slightly sweaty, but Hyunwoo doesn't mind. "You're you," Hoseok says at last, "you're you and I like you and that's all there is to it."

Hyunwoo doesn't know when this stopped being about comforting Hoseok and when it became about comforting himself. Hoseok's face is calm and open, his eyes shiny and deep, filled with something Hyunwoo can't quite name. He exhales nosily through his nose and looks at their fingers, curled around each other.

"I like you, too," he says. He presses his lips flat into half a smile and shrugs. "Sometimes I think I like you too much." _Sometimes I think—no, I_ know _I'm in love with you_ hangs heavy around his throat, and he has to clear it so he can breathe past the lump there.

Hoseok tightens his hold and Hyunwoo looks up at him, slightly embarrassed, because this is all just—really embarrassing on his end. Hoseok smiles softly, close-lipped, and leans across the center console and their forgotten drinks to press his lips to Hyunwoo's softly, chastely, and it's warm, his lips slightly chapped from earlier, faintly sweet from his soda.

When he pulls away, he doesn't get too far; his forehead rests against Hyunwoo's and he just stays there, breathing, every exhale fanning Hyunwoo's lips. It's hard not to get cross-eyed like this, but Hyunwoo doesn't mind.

"I've been thinking about this for a while," Hoseok murmurs. It feels like an admission, like a secret. "About kissing you."

Hyunwoo would be lying if he said he hasn't been thinking the same, so he doesn't. "I have, too. Wasn't aware it was a thing you'd be alright with."

Hoseok laughs through his noise, his shoulders shaking a little, and Hyunwoo, bolder than he's ever felt, reaches up to tuck his fingers over the curve of Hoseok's neck and the back of his head, where the hair is short and soft. "I'm plenty alright with it, yes," Hoseok says. He tilts his head and fits their mouths together again, and it’s longer this time, slightly wetter, still good.

Hoseok kisses like he sings, in a single breath, from the depths of his lungs. He curls his fingers on the front of Hyunwoo's jacket and pulls him closer, tighter, until Hyunwoo is panting into his mouth and his entire body feels alight with fire, lungs too full, too empty, never enough. He tries to put into kisses what he can’t bring himself to put into words, and Hoseok makes a tiny sound, barely a sigh, like he somehow gets it.

When they pull away this time, there's a lot more distance between them and yet it's like Hoseok's the closest he's ever been, solid and real under Hyunwoo's fingertips.

"We should go back home," Hoseok mutters under his smile. His cheeks are flushed pink; he's soft around the edges, blurred a little in what Hyunwoo can only describe as giddiness. And happiness.

His fingers tighten around Hyunwoo's once more, and it feels like a secret and a promise rolled into one.

"We should," Hyunwoo agrees, smiling back so hard his cheeks hurt.

 

 

 

("Hoseok, I really can't drive one-handed."

"You _so_ can, you've been doing fine for the past half-hour."

"You're impossible."

"Shut up, you love it."

Hyunwoo has nothing to say to that, really.)


End file.
